Friendships

Over the years I have learned one thing about many people. I especially have come to appreciate real friendships but the truth is that people have very few friends, a little more when you speak of acquaintances and more who just like to say “I know him, he’s a close friend” when you actually met them once.

Friends are those people who will be there for you when you call in the middle of the night without asking “why are you calling me”. Friends are those who, when they hear a rumor, come to you to find out the truth and believe you. Friends are people who give you the benefit of the doubt. Friends are those who stand by you because they know you and trust in you.

Over the past few years I have been sorely disappointed in some I considered friends. I include in that groups, clubs and committees as well as individuals. Power to some is worth the loss of a friend. The feeling of “knowing something no one else knows” even if that “something” is so outrageous as to be totally ridiculous and not worth the “knowing”.

I once was told I trust too many people and my only answer to that is that I would rather trust people and be disappointed than never trust anyone at all. Loyalty is a word in the dictionary. Faithfulness rarely exists. More than 50% of marriages fail which is one measurement of faithfulness, friendship and loyalty.

It is a rare person that would value friendship over power. It is a rare person that would rather agree to disagree and still remain friends. I have worked for friends and had them turn their backs on me when they had the power to help. I have trusted and been there for “friends in need” only to find that when a new person with different views comes into their lives they were quick to switch allegiances rather than understand that friends don’t need to have mutual friendships. I have “friends” who insist on being right about almost any subject without actually checking facts and never gives you the benefit of the doubt.

You may hear from “friends” once a day, once a week, once a month or once a year. I have friends I hear from occasionally but haven’t seen in years from the Service and from my youth. I have friends who know much more then I about some subjects and no matter when or what I ask I get an answer. I have friends who have been told they shouldn’t be a friend and remained loyal because they simply know me and knew better then to believe what someone who heard from someone had to say. I have friends that feel I have helped them when all I did was what I consider the right thing to do and I DID NOT expect thanks. Doing what is right does not require anything more than a simple “thank you”.

Sadly I have been disappointed many times but I still trust in some I call “friend” and feel that when help is needed I must be there for them sometimes fully knowing the help is not mutual.

But that’s me and as often as I’m told I need to change my views and behavior when it comes to that level of trust I will always be a “friend” and will be there for those in need without expecting anything in return. As many times as I say “I will never do that again” I know I will.

I hope I can call you “friend”.

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Emily Dickinson

I'm nobody! Who are you?
Are you nobody, too?
Then there's a pair of us -- don't tell!
They'd banish us, you know.
How dreary to be somebody!
How public, like a frog
To tell your name the livelong day
To an admiring bog!